Expiration Date
by opens up 4 nobody
Summary: Sometimes life deals you a really sucky hand of cards and there's nothing you can do but make it worse for yourself. Or maybe that's just all you know how to do.


Two feet standing on a principle  
Two hands longing for each others warmth  
Cold smoke seeping out of colder throats  
Darkness falling, leaves nowhere to go

It's spiraling down  
Biting words like a wolf howling  
Hate is spitting out each others mouths  
But we're still sleeping like we're lovers

-"Still" Daughter

XxxX

Sanji stared at the woman kneeling before him. She was on one knee, holding out a wedding ring. His heart gave a nearly audible thump. He knew what he should do, how he should feel about this. He should say yes, absolutely and sweep her into his arms and they could be happy together. He had known that she wanted to get married and apparently she was done waiting for him to propose the old fashion way and went to do it herself. Good for her, social standards be damned.

His mind was racing so quickly that he felt dizzy, luckily his body seemed more adapt to deal with the situation than his mind, it was already in motion, doing something appropriate. He wished that he could put his heart into it, he really did. Why couldn't it just be that easy? No matter what he tried we just couldn't put any passion into his actions, they were all empty and hollow.

They had been sitting on a pier, the wind was blowing a soft, warm breeze and the few people walking about, milled along with their own business. That is until Keimi had proposed to him, that grabbed their interest. With their eyes on him he knew what he had to do. He had decided to play this game and that was what he would do. It wasn't like he could back out now, well he could but that would be dangerous and emotionally painful for one of them.

"Yes," he forced out breathlessly to answer her unspoken question. Relief flashed over her pretty face and she nearly tackled him over in happiness.

A cheer had arisen from the crowd of onlookers as they embraced. Sanji felt off balance and he was afraid that if they didn't stop he might collapse. Eventually, the seemingly endless stream of congratulations and well wishes ended, leaving the coupled to walk in peace. They spent the rest of their evening laughing and dreaming of wedding plans, they agreed that they couldn't wait to tell everyone. By the end Sanji's face hurt and his mouth tasted bitter with lies.

When they reluctantly parted ways Sanji's smile dropped and he carried himself listlessly home, to bed where he flopped down into his face. Was he doing the right thing? No, defiantly not but what else could he do? Hate himself. That seemed like the best option to him.

Despite his need for sleep, Sanji brought out his phone. He needed to tell someone and he had to do it as swiftly and as painlessly as possible.

Sanji 11:43 PM

it happened.

Zoro 11:43 PM

What happened?

Sanji 11:44 PM

I'm engaged, it's official.

There was no response to that, Sanji was not surprised. A few minutes later his front door swung open and Zoro marched in with an angry expression on his face. He must have used they hidden key because Sanji would have sworn that he had locked that door, or maybe he hadn't, he couldn't remember and what did it even matter? Sanji didn't move, he just continued to lay there, waiting for the coming storm.

"So, this is it," Zoro stated as the stomped into the room.

"This is it," Sanji confirmed. This was the day they had dreaded for so long. He should have waited longer, there was still time to spare. He should have picked someone else. He shouldn't be thinking any of these things at all.

Zoro groaned, "I hate you so much. Why can't you just-?" He let out an exacerbated sound.

"Because this forces change, otherwise nothing will happen," he said quietly, and it was true what he said. Change was needed and they weren't going to do it on their own.

"Things don't need to change," Zoro insisted. He had always been more comfortable in his actions and morals than Sanji was. The blond tended to be too in his own head. Zoro made decisions and stuck to them he did not deliberate in the same way Sanji did.

"Yes, they do, you're a police officer. You know what will happen!" Sanji shouted. Of all the professions the idiots could have gone into, it had to be the police, didn't it? Well, he could have joined the military, that would probably be worse. But in his current job he had to sometimes deal with... cases that hit a little too close to home.

Being a homosexual was not illegal per se, it was just very heavily frowned upon. Very heavily. Because the police couldn't outfight arrest them, so often times vigilantes would take action. Their victims wouldn't always end up dead but sometimes they did and whatever did happen was recorded and posted to the internet to destroy the life of the person on tape. One of their favorite ways to humiliate a person was to urinate on them, they would also beat the ever loving hell out of them doing all other means of terror. And as a member of the police force in a bigger city, Zoro was encouraged to look the other way.

"Only if they find out!" Zoro insisted.

"They'll find out!" They always did somehow.

"You don't know that!"

"Yes, I do, and when they find out we're both done for. I don't want that to happen."

Zoro grabbed him by the shirt and hauled him up to face height. "Making both of us miserable isn't going to help our quality of life."

"But at least we won't be dead," Sanji spat.

"We wouldn't die," the idiot snarled.

"Maybe not but it would still suck." He let out a pathetic sound. "Why is life so unfair?"

"Fuck if I know," Zoro huffed as he let go of Sanji's shirt.

Life had been very cruel to both Sanji and Zoro, who had together found out that they were... different in high school. There were many moral standards against that sort of thing. They knew that all too well but it couldn't be helped.

They had been together since they were eighteen, which was subsequently the same age at which Zoro had been disowned because of Sanji. It wasn't really Sanji's fault, it was bound to happen anyway. Sanji just happened to get caught up in it.

His parents had come home and seen them together, they hadn't even been doing anything really bad. They had been playing video games in Zoro's living room when Sanji had stood up to go find crackers and delicious squirt cheese. When he had returned, cheese and crackers in hand, Zoro had stood up and kissed him in his excitement over the fact that they had squirt cheese. They had lingered for only a moment, an innocent enough kiss but Zoro's parents had taken this moment to return from wherever they had been and when they saw their son kissing the boy he was always hanging out with they freaked out a little bit.

There was a lot of yelling and horrible name calling, mostly directed toward Sanji. The blond was eventually shoved out the door while Zoro's parents resumed screaming at him. Sanji remembered his panic as he was leaving, fleeing the house. They probably wouldn't tell on Zoro, he was still their son after all, but nothing was stopping them from ruining his life. He had never been so frightened.

He hadn't heard anything from Zoro for the rest of the weekend then he had showed up at the Baratie with a suitcase full of clothes saying that he had been disowned. Sanji convinced Zeff to let Zoro stay for the remainder of the summer, then he would be off to the police academy anyway. Zeff didn't care about the thing that they had between them, or he wouldn't if he had known about it. Honestly, Sanji didn't think that Zeff would give a fuck if he was sexually attracted to dolphins or something, just so long as he got his work done and didn't say anything stupid but he wasn't going to risk it.

No one knew other than them, they had been very carful after that. If anyone did know them never said anything about it anyhow. There had been periods where they had tried to stay apart but they just ended up right back in the same place. Oh, cruel fate.

The both of them were thirty when Sanji had decided that he had to play The Game and by the game he meant the 'happy, straight boyfriend game'. This decision had been reached when someone they knew made a comment on how oddly close their relationship was with an strange expression on his face. It had not been the first time someone had made a comment like that. So, Sanji got a girlfriend.

Keimi was a high school biology teacher and swim coach in the area. She met Sanji while eating at the Baratie. They made friends quickly and Sanji soon discovered that she had a very good quality for being his cover girlfriend; her family was devoutly religious. The fact that her parents kept such a close eye on any physical contact they along with her natural quality of being not very inclined to things of the sexual nature was a very, very good thing.

The whole situation made Zoro extremely irritated, and why shouldn't he be irritated? Sanji was technically cheating on him, although he wasn't getting any pleasure out of it. But they still had their thing going strong the whole time. Zoro wished that he could hate her, it would make him feel better but she was too nice for that. Damn her and her pleasant personally.

They had been dating for two and a half years when Keimi proposed. That seemed like simultaneously forever and not long at all. Zoro had told him to break up with her many many times so that it wouldn't get so serious and every time Sanji tried he just didn't have the heart. She was in love with him, a fact that he felt like a gaping wound in his chest. He could never forgive himself for what he had done but what's done was done and now the least he could do was make Keimi happy.

The room was quiet as Zoro flopped onto the bed beside him. "Just break it off." Zoro mumbled, knowing full well that it was useless.

"I can't do that now, it would break her heart."

"Yeah well you're breaking my heart."

"You're heart knows what's coming and it knows that strategically this is the right thing to do," Sanji scolded.

"Oh, the love master Sanji is talking about love strategically. When did you become so cynical?" he scoffed.

"When I figured out I was doomed to a life of lies," he droned. "Thanks for that by the way."

Zoro huffed, ignoring that last remark, "We should run away together," he suggested.

"We can't leave everyone else behind," Sanji said.

"We should commit a double suicide," he didn't miss a beat.

"Not happening."

"Fine, have it your way, homicide-suicide it is."

Sanji rolled over and placed his had over Zoro's mouth. "Shut up, in trying to be miserable here."

Zoro grabbed him by the hips and hauled him closer, "Am I distracting you from your spiraling depression?"

"Yeah, if you could stop that would be great. I'm trying to resign myself to a life of discontent and you aren't helping," he said indignantly.

Zoro kissed him shortly on the mouth. "You could always come to the dark side and ditch your responsibilities." A sinfully tempting request.

"I'm already doing that. I'm cheating on my fiancée and we've only been engaged for a few hours," Sanji pointed out.

"You've been cheating on her the whole time you've been together with someone you've been with since you were in high school. Besides, I love you more than she does anyway," Zoro said in irritation.

Sanji rolled his eyes. "And I love you but we both know that this thing is approaching it's expiration date, it's almost time to terminate. To be fair we are probably running on borrowed time as it is."

Zoro knew he was right but that didn't make him feel any better. Instead of saying anything else that would lead to him wanting to punch Sanji more than he already did, he held the chef close for a long while, and they both gradually fell asleep although it did not come easy now that they both knew that these moments would be limited.

XxxX

It turns out that time moves quickly when you're planning a wedding. The ceremony would be taking place on December tenth, a winter wedding. There was so much to do and everything was overwhelming. There were a few occasions where Sanji had nearly lost it and curled up into a ball, never to uncurl again, or moments where he felt like if he held his breath long enough he would stop existing and none of this would have to happen. He'd never felt more like jumping in front of a bus.

As the date approached it seemed to feel more and more real, it was an oppressive weight dangling over his head and he was just waiting for it to fall. Zoro wasn't much help, all he did was kiss him when he got the chance and say that he could skip town whenever he wanted. They could run off into the sunset together. And all Sanji did was kiss back and shake his head.

XxxX

Four days before the wedding was the bachelor party, which was apparently a necessity. Sanji wasn't looking forward to it, he wasn't in the mood for celebration. It was him, Usopp, Luffy, Chopper, Franky, and Zoro. It was a night of both excitement and terror but was to mostly boiled down to was: getting very drunk, getting kicked out of the bar, going over to Sanji's and trying to bake a cake, failing horrendously, and passing out on the furniture. It was fun and it got Sanji's mind off the wedding for a short time.

Even Zoro was off his ass dunk that night, a very rare occurrence. Sanji suspected that it had something to do with the upcoming wedding. After everyone had either passed out or left the room Sanji was standing in the kitchen, drunkenly trying to clean up his counter and making it even worse. He had managed to scoop up some of the flour into his shirt, something that would horrify him were he sober, when Zoro had practically run into him on his way to the living room. He let go of the front of his shirt and flower went all over the floor.

Sanji let out some kind of horrified noise while Zoro just stared at him, a disconnected look in his eyes. He didn't seem to have registered what just happened.

Sanji put has hands on his hips and glared. "What are you looking at?" he growled.

"Nothin'" Zoro said, turning his face away.

"Right, then just move along," he tried to shoo him away but he only walked closer. "What are you doing?" the flour covered man demanded.

"Nothing, geez." He just kept walking forward. Sanji didn't stop him but he was very wary of whatever it was he thought he was doing. Zoro brought them together so that they were nearly chest to chest. Sanji was looking at him crossly but his eyes lacked fire. Zoro brought their faces together very slowly. In the back of his mind he knew that he should really be careful, one of the others could appear at any moment but his alcohol hazed brain was more focused on Sanji than any potential dangers. Sanji mind was similarly compromised. It was fuzzy and sloppy but they clung it every moment in escalating vigor.

When Sanji woke up the next morning he was thankfully clothed but with a horrendous headache. He was propped up against his cabinets in the corner of the kitchen. Zoro was lying on his stomach at Sanji's side, he had has arms wrapped around the blond's torso and his face against his stomach. It was horribly uncomfortable but he didn't want to get up, he was afraid he might puke if he moved. So, he just sat there, running his hands through Zoro's grassy hair until he heard the others start to move around. He then detached himself, with a good deal of effort, from the marimo's hold and started to make pancakes. The kitchen was a horror show but that could wait until after breakfast.

By the time he was done Zoro looked like he had been snowed on from drifting flour, and Luffy and Usopp were waiting eagerly for food.

Zoro was nudged awake by Sanji's foot soon after and he groggily ate his share of pancakes, his face blank and his eyes boring into Sanji's back as he cleaned up.

It was too late now and that was that.

XxxX

Two nights before the wedding was what Sanji was calling his final goodbye party. Zoro came over for what would be the last time if all went as planned. They were very quiet and the atmosphere was depressing upon his arrival at five pm.

They went ice skating on the pond in Sanji's backyard. It was now cold enough that it was solid enough to hold them. Sanji was very good at iceskating and he liked to show off his skill whenever he could. He like to skate backward and talk while he skated with other people because it made him feel cool. He only sometimes fell but when he did it was hilarious.

On this day his skates hit a divot when we was close of the shore line and he went soaring into a bush. Zoro laughed at that so had he though he might die. It had broken the tension for a time.

The chef made a return from the bush bruised in body and pride but not mortally injured, suggesting that they go inside because he didn't feel like skating anymore.

When they went in Sanji served onigiri and they ate quietly. After that Zoro flopped down onto the couch and turned on the tv. Nothing good was on. Sanji climbed on with him, pressing his face against Zoro's shoulder. He didn't say anything at first, just let Zoro wrap his arms around him and soaked up the warmth.

"It's the end on an era," Sanji finally said, his voice muffled.

"That remains to be seen," Zoro grumbled back, he had no intention if letting Sanji to. It went against his fiercely loyal nature.

"We can't do this while I'm married," Sanji said flatly, "Then I would be physically cheating on both of you and I don't think I can do that."

"But I'll know that you don't mean it," Zoro tried to rationalize.

"You can't really know that for sure," Sanji pointed out, "Despite whatever my intentions or feeling may be that is still wrong. All of this is wrong."

"The situation is wrong. This," he brushed a hand through Sanji's hair, "is not."

"Yeah, well what do you know?" Sanji's eyes were stormy and downcast.

"I know that you shouldn't be so hard on yourself, they've got you right where they want you." A dangerous place to be.

"I can't help it," Sanji sighed, it was hard going along with something that was so socially unacceptable. Not that he had much of a choice.

"There's always ditching any commitments," Zoro suggested.

Sanji's eyebrows furrowed. "Will you stop telling me to run away with you? You know that I'm not going to do it so just stop." Every time he was tempted but he couldn't do it, he knew he shouldn't.

"I can't help it," Zoro repeated back to him, "Every time I ask a tiny part of me raises hope. I'm only out for your best, I don't want you to force yourself to have sex with someone."

Sanji grimaced, "It's going to be humiliating," he moaned. He was not looking forward to the honeymoon and dealing with that. It was be horribly embarrassing when he couldn't... preform, as it were. Not something he was looking forward to.

Zoro smirked."Yeah... It's just comforting for me to know that she'll never have the same power over you as I will."

"Shut up, I'd rather you not feed off of my misery," Sanji growled, suppressing the urge to bite down on Zoro's shoulder like a zombie.

"You can only hope that she's not interested in sex."

Sanji scoffed, "That would be great, I know that she can't have kids and her family made her pretty upright, so I guess it's possible." The poor, kind girl had developed Endometriosis in her late twenties, a disorder in which tissues that normally grow in the uterus grow outside of the uterus, leading to chronic pain and infertility. She dealt with it in her own way, as strong as she could be with her uterus trying to murder her but she would never have kids.

They were quite for another long while.

"I don't want to be your best man," Zoro admitted after a time. He had wanted to say it ever since he was awarded the role.

"I don't want you to be my best man either." It hurt too much. "I wish I was marrying you," he said quietly.

"So do I, then we could live happily ever after," Zoro chucked.

"No more sneaking around, and we could have a family," he said wistfully.

"I've always wanted a little girl."

"I could teach her to cook and kick ass, and you could teach her how to hack down her enemies. We would have the most kickass little girl ever," Sanji laughed. It hurt him that it could never happen.

"She would be the greatest," Zoro agreed. "I would teach her to be even better than me."

"The world's greatest swordswoman," Sanji smiled, if only it could happen.

"I want to ditch the whole thing," Zoro whispered.

"You can't, that would look bad."

"Why couldn't you just pick Luffy as the best man?"

"Because that would be weird, they would wonder why I didn't pick you. We spend the most time together."

The green haired man huffed. "This is bullshit."

"I know but it's too late to turn back now." He pulled his head up to look Zoro in the eyes. He looked very tired, he hadn't been sleeping well.

"I feel a deep emotional attachment for you." Zoro said softly as his eyes rolled slowly other Sanji's pale face.

"Ditto, you fucking robot." He brought their faces together and they made out on the couch for a while until they decided to go to bed.

XxxX

The day before the wedding was the wedding rehearsal, all the important people needed to go including Zoro, who obviously was Sanji's best man. Maybe it seemed cruel to make Zoro the best man but it would be weird not to so the swordsman would just have to suck it up.

It was two hours before he had to go and Zoro was determined to miss the whole event. He didn't want to go so some dumb reversal, it was bad enough that he had to go to the actual wedding. Instead of attempting to get ready he was working out with great intensity, trying to make himself forget about the whole thing. It was then that, almost by the power of sorcery, Sanji arrived and seems to sense his ill intentions. The chef stormed through his house and stood in the doorway leading to his work out room, hands on his hips.

"What do you think you're doing?" he asked, although he defiantly already knew.

"I think the real question is: what the fuck do you think you're doing?" Zoro shot back, he found his question much more important and relevant.

Sanji scowled and ignored the inquiry. "You have to start getting ready."

"Why? So I can go to your stupid, meaningless wedding rehearsal, I'd rather not," he spat.

"You have to go," Sanji told him, his expression was hard and determined.

"Well, I'm not so you can just deal with that," Zoro said, shaking a heavy dumbbell at him menacingly.

Sanji glowered at him. "If you don't go take a shower and get ready right now then I'll make you." He promised.

Zoro turned his head away and continued to left weights. He heard Sanji's frustrated huff and dodged out of the way as a kick was aimed at the center of his back. He dropped the weight and held up a wooden practice sword against him. They fought for a good fifteen minutes, both extremely frustrated and angry.

When Zoro managed to knock Sanji onto his ass the blond lunged for his legs, dragging him down as well. He started to drag Zoro toward the bathroom.

"You will get ready," he promised. He ran in to the bathroom and flipped on the shower. Zoro tried to escaped out if the room but Sanji managed to tackle him in time and began dragging him by the leg toward the shower.

"Come on," he huffed, "it's not that hard." He was pulling with all of his strength but Zoro, who had monstrous upper arm strength, had attached himself to the door frame.

"No!" There was no way he was going and that was final.

They continued to struggle until Sanji finally had them at least inside the bathroom. He had never worked so hard in his entire life.

"In!" Sanji pointed to the shower.

"Never!" Zoro tried to dart past him but Sanji pushed him back into the running water, clothes and all. As soon as Zoro had seen what was inevitably coming he grabbed Sanji by the front of his shirt and they both fell though the torrent of water. Zoro's back his the wall painfully but Sanji caught himself before he could fall on his face. Unfortunately, he was very quickly soaked through under the shower head.

Zoro smiled up at him innocently as Sanji seethed. He took a long breath, not moving as his clothes grew dark and heavy with water.

"Alright," he said slowly, "If you want to act like a child, I'll treat you like a child." He pulled Zoro into a standing position, grabbed the shampoo and squirted way too much onto his hands. Zoro tried to escape but Sanji plastered himself against the swordsman. The blond's hands were rough and relentless, forcing the lingering sweat out of his hair. It was a very painful and soapy experience. It was also ridiculous because Sanji was in a soaked and sudsy suit. At least Zoro wasn't wearing a shirt, he only looked half crazy.

As Zoro childishly squirmed Sanji took a bar of soap and a wash cloth and began scrubbing his skin raw.

"Ah, you're the worst!" Zoro shouted as he tried to knock the soap out of Sanji's hands. "I'll do it myself!" He grabbed the soap and began to wash himself like a proper adult. Although at the same time he changed the dial to pour cold water on them in a very childish way.

Sanji let out a screech and they fought over the temperature until Sanji was shaking like a small dog and Zoro took pity on him. Then he actually stated to wash himself out of guilt.

Sanji glared at him while he did so. "You ruined my suit," he pouted.

"Yeah, well you look stupid anyway. Plus, you obliterated the top layer of my skin. Do you know that that feels like? It feels like his." He grabbed Sanji's arm and twisted the exposed skin giving his a painful Indian burn even with the water killing his traction.

Sanji cried out and kicked him in the shin with a soggy socked foot. "This is not the path to getting on my good side, asshole."

"What do I care if I'm on your good side, you'll be off with your wife. You won't have time for sexy showers with me anymore." He paused in washing himself to put his hands on Sanji's narrow waist.

"We aren't very good at sexy showers anyway," Sanji glared down at his soaked clothes.

"I know how to make it better." His hands twitched up to unbutton Sanji's button up. He started awkwardly in the center of his stomach and got up three buttons before Sanji grabbed his arms.

"I'm not going to do this right before my wedding rehearsal," Sanji said, although he sounded like he was telling that to himself rather than to Zoro.

Zoro huffed and flipped up Sanji's soaked black tie so that it hit him directly in the face with a solid smack. Sanji gave him an unimpressed look as the fabric slid from his face. Then his expression changed to one of disbelief. "What the fuck am I even doing here? How did it come to this." He put a hand to his head and sagged like his energy had been sapped.

Zoro placed his hands solidly on either of Sanji's shoulders. "I don't know," he said trailing his hands up either side of the blond's neck and up into his hair. He quickly swept his hands upward giving Sanji an awesome mohawk. Irritated, Sanji jostled his hair out of the ridiculous style and gave Zoro a pathetic look.

His hair was messy, dark with water and falling in his face but not in the usual perfect style; both of his eyes were visible as he glared, leaving those elegant fucking eyebrows for all the world to see, the glare wasn't menacing, it was sad and slightly pathetic but that may just have been the soaked though clothes throwing off the image. He was perfect, perfect and sad. Zoro's mood then turned more serious, he leaned in close and pressed a soft kiss to his mouth. Before Sanji could protest he was all wrapped up in Zoro's big manly arms.

Normally, Sanji would have made some noise of horror and battled his way free but now he leaned his head on Zoro's bare shoulder, ignoring the water running over his face, he half hoped that it would drown him and he wouldn't have to deal with any of this.

"Run away with me," Zoro suggested for what was probably the millionth time since they had known each other. There were places were they could be safe, they could be happy, but their home was here and their family was here, family meaning friends.

"If only, if only," Sanji mumbled against his warm wet skin, "But we have a wedding rehearsal to get to." He turned off the water from behind Zoro and slid the shower door open to retrieve towels.

They stood in their dripping clothes, wrapped in towels. Zoro was giving him a sappy look so the placed a towl over his head and rubbed the water out of his hair to avoid his gaze.

Zoro was then shoved out of the warm room to get clothes. Sanji was over enough that he had one extra suit that Zoro found at the bottom of his closet, still very delicately folded, much to Sanji's delight.

Sanji used a blowdryer to fix his fair and, bam, they were ready for action.

They drove separately but arrived at the same time. Sanji didn't want to chance Zoro ditching the thing.

Everyone was there doing all the wedding roles. There was a priest guy there directing them. The wedding was taking place in a beautiful church according to his future in-laws wishes. Sanji didn't really care where it happened, the result would be the same. He felt oddly numb as they went through the process. It was starting to register that this was actually fucking happening. He felt sick as he looked at Keimi, who was grinning wildly at him.

He got through it all the same, determined not to look at Zoro the entire time and he didn't. If he had then he wasn't sure what would have happened.

XxxX

Then the dreaded day had arrived. The actual ceremony was at three pm and making everything run smoothly was impossibly hard, Sanji was at work from the moment he got up. It didn't help that he felt like he was going to be sick all day. What the hell was he doing? He didn't even know anymore.

He didn't see Zoro until about an hour before he was due to go get hitched. It was almost physically painful to meet his eye but he forced himself to appear normal in front of anyone watching, he was supposed to be excited; excited, nervous, and full of love. All he could feel was anxiety and pain.

Just before he was supposed to go out and get married, he and Zoro were in a room by themselves, not saying anything. Sanji was sitting down because if he stood up he was sure he would fall to pieces or his legs would give out underneath him. Five minutes to go. Zoro moved to stand in front of him, his expression blank as a slate. He took Sanji's face in his hands, leaned down and kissed his forehead. "I love you so, so, so much," he mumbled against Sanji's smooth skin.

"I love you too." For a moment Sanji was afraid that one if them would start crying, he could feel his eyes prickling but he refused to do something like that. Sanji wrapped his arms around Zoro's chest and resting their heads together, holding on like his life depended on it.

"Run away with me," Zoro told him one last time and the offer was more tempting than ever, his mouth opened then closed again and in the end he said nothing. He couldn't, he just... it wasn't possible.

They remained that way until someone knocked on the door saying that it was time to go. They both knew the door was locked so they shared one last soul crushing and painfully sad kiss before they walked out that door, dropping their entwined hands as they left.

They walked slowly to the cathedral, entering in the side with priest to stand at the alter. Groom and best man. Two very happy young men. Model citizens.

The groomsmen and bridesmaids made their way down into place followed by the ring barer and flower girl. Then the bride arrived all in her beautiful white dress and veil. She looked gorgeous with her mermaid style dress elegantly shaped to her figure, lead by her father who was also beaming, happy for his daughter.

With every step they took Sanji thought of a way out.

He could catch his sleeve on fire. He could burn down the building. He could commit seppuku. Aliens could blast a hole in the roof. Everyone could drop dead. He could make himself pass out. He could run and jump into Zoro's arms and they could run out. He could be teleported to another dimension. Someone could be shot. He could start crying and run away like a coward. He could make himself throw up all over. He could out himself in front of everyone. He could just die right there.

The possibilities were endless but he found himself frozen in place, a plastic smile stuck on his face. Then she was there with him, a kind and excited smile on her face that broke Sanji's heart. He was a monster. He deserved whatever hell was waiting for him and more.

The event proceeded painfully slowly, Sanji could swear that time nearly moved backward for a moment, until the vows were so lovingly exchanged.

The priest man did ask if there were any objections to their union and for half a second Sanji's heart stopped as he willed someone to please say yes. For the love of all things good and wonderful, someone say yes. But no objection came. He knew that Zoro had wanted to say: "Objection!" pointing his finger to the priest, "that man is a homosexual!" But there was nothing.

Then those words came spilling from his throat, he wished he could stop them.

"I, Sanji Black, take you, Keimi, to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part."

"I, Keimi Waters, take you, Sanji, to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part."

"I pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride." And he did, fate was sealed and he felt cold inside. They were swept out of the cathedral and into a limo to take them to the after party.

There were congratulations and pieces of cake being shoved into faces. All perfectly orchestrated.

When it came time for the best man speech Sanji half expected Zoro to be gone by then but he had stayed. As the time came Zoro rose to is sure his awaited speech:

"Okay, some some of you may know me, maybe you don't. If you don't know me personally, then I'm usually the pain in the ass Sanji's always complaining about." He paused for laughter to subside. "So Sanji and I have known each other since junior year of high school and we immediately hated each other. Our fist conversation ended with us punching one of our friends in the face because he got between our fighting." He grinned at the memory. "That said it might seem weird that I'm here as the best man and I can tell you I'm just as confused as you. But we always seem to be there for each other when it matters so I guess that counts for something." There was another pause and he looked like he wanted to say something unscripted but resisted. "Anyway, what I really wanted to say was that despite being the single most frustration person in the world, that blond terror is my best friend and anyone who has the honor of marrying him should count themselves lucky because he will stick by you no matter what, regardless or whether you want him there or not. Keimi, if this is really what you want then have a happy life together." He finished sweetly and sat back in his seat as glasses were raised in cheers.

Sanji's eyes burned and his throat felt like it was going to close up on him. He hoped that it would to save him from all of this. Zoro giving his blessing of their wedding made him want to cry like a child but there were people watching so he kept that painful smile on his face all the while. If things weren't going to get better might as well make them worse. So, he sat there an endured all of this like the happy groom he was supposed to be. He hoped that on the way outside he would be hit by a car and he hoped that the death would be swift. It was probably more than he deserved.

If only he were born a different person in a different life, then maybe things could be different. Hopefully they would be less shitty but with his luck probably not.

XxxX

A/N: I wrote this just so I could get that shower scene onto paper... Into print. Whatever. I'm sad now. Thought about making it a big thing but I was like "nope I have other bigger things to write". Seriously, fuck inspiration. I don't even like one shots.

Do I think that Sanji could ever do this? Not really... Well, maybe but he would hate himself forever afterward. Whatever, I don't care.

Why do I like to write depressing stores so much? This one also makes me angry. Just, why?

Had to make up a last name for Keimi. Waters is better than Fuckface, right? Because that was the place holder XD I'm so sorry Endometriosis sounds awful but I couldn't allow there to be kids.

The setting? It's not a real place but it has its base in a... Certain place... It's semi inspired by a horrifying documentary I saw... That place that I'm thinking of should take a long hard look at some stuff going on. *uncomfortably clears throat*

Thanks.


End file.
